southern comfort

i arrived back home last night from a visit to my grandma down south. she is in louisville kentucky. born and raised. along with the constant flow of food (note that we are talking jewish grandmother here.. ) she took us the the Kentucky State Fair and we saw blue ribbon cows, corn, tobacco, baked goods and as many ways of preparing a pig as one can muster.



it was really nice to see my grandma. she is like no one else i know. also, she is my last grandparent. she told us about our great aunt Tanta Paula. She was a political prisoner and sent to Siberia. "she was beautiful and blonde with blue eyes" and she slept with the guards in order to get out and then walked across Russia. after that she found her way to america with her husband "who was the most bland man." This brought up stories about a great grandfather who blew up a police station somewhere in europe and was exiled. or something like that. there is so much history that i wish i knew. i wish i could watch pieces of my grandmothers life. i also wish i could talk to my other grandparents. i really miss them, and wish i had the chance to learn from them, and even meet them.
anyway, i realized one of my last nights in louisville that i am leaving for rome on the 29th. now, i know that most of you reading this knew i was leaving. but i think i only recently realized it myself. i feel like i am in a good place though. nervous, yes. anxious, yeah, i'd say so. excited, yup. mostly, i feel a very clear undertone of calm peace. i am ready for this next plateau of life. i am looking forward to meeting myself at 21. i am really ready to live some. and to be.